Anggrek Kenangan

Takut

Ketidaksadaran manusia. Ketakutan akan kehidupan. Aku takut menggerakan kakiku. Langkah berat yang aku sendiri tak mengerti. Lalu kemana aku harus bergerak, kemana aku harus menepi? Aku Takut Melakukan Apapun! Aku bahkan takut keluar dari nyamanku. Kututup lalu kubuka lagi. Buku elektronik yang setia menemani. Lalu kini aku sendiri. Takut menyerbu hati, dan aku membusuk disini.

Why do I feel like an Idiot

Life's a bitch. And i know it from the beginning. Dealing with life can (or can't) release you from hell, but it surely catches you in difficult moment and strangle you until you said "enough" and you bite on the hand that been strangling you. You release yourself.

And why do i feel like an idiot? My life's happy, at least from the relative side of my mind, but i still feel like screaming insanely to the wall with the most retarded mind i could think of, like FUCK! And it's not ending just there.

I feel like i wanna kill myself. More than once. I feel like i can't do this anymore, i'm tired of this shit. I always screw up, and i'm not a drug addict! Well, internet addict, may be, but i don't think that would be any worth screwing my life, right? I never seen an actual human in my life (and on tv) who go to a rehab for internet addiction.

And from what i know, internet addiction didn't give any STD either.

So why bother? Well, like i said before, i wanna FUCKING KILL MYSELF. And that's not my only problem. My problem is more than one.

Yes, more than one. And the other one is more insane than the others. The weirder side of my mind is KNOWING that what i'm thinking is wrong, and i carefully chooses what to think and what's not to think. I begin not to admit what i'm feeling. Sometimes i'm feeling so fucking numb i can't even laugh. The only thing that can make me laugh these times is those crackhead article at cracked.com. but it's still didn't make me feel better. Either.

Have you feel something that's so troubling you, so bitching in your mind, so make you wanna scream FUCK THIS and run away naked in front of a crowded street? I do. And i won't admit that i feel that way. I feel like i can't release my emotion, but i know that if i release it, then it will get released in a very corky way. Well, not corky, more like crazy way. My mother said i have to go to beach to scream and do something that can release my emotion but HOW CAN I GO THE BEACH??? MY HOUSE IS FUCKING HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM THE CLOSEST BEACH.

Man, this article sucks. My life sucks. My problem sucks. Fuck that, i need to go forward. My name's still as heroic as Chuck Norris, so i think i might holdin' to that until some asshat tells me that Chuck Norris is old as fuck and your name's not cool neither. Fuck that, i will punch that guy instantly when i met one.

How To Be The Funniest Guy In The Room

Tonight i'm thinking, so what's the part that makes some jokes made someone laugh hillariously super funny, while in truth, the joke itself is not really funny? What is the secret of making someone laugh beside the joke itself?

The secret is i'm sure people already know. But if you didn't know and really wanna know, let me tell you the secret. It's how you tell it.

How To Tell A Funny To The Pants Joke

1. Intonation Is The Big Key

Try this one. Go to your friends now, and tell him the funniest story in your mind. I don't mind if it's something that happen about 10 or 15 years ago, just run and tell him the story. And one thing for sure, i want this story you tell your friends to be the funniest story in your mind, that even with only remembering it, you will go laugh to the bottom of the floor. Now tell him with a veeery flat intonation, with a face looks like it's nothing interesting, and tell me what's the response. I can make sure, more than half of the people you tell joke with this way will not even smile with your joke. But yet, some might still think it funny, but not laugh as hard as your laugh. So what's the problem? I'm sure you can guess, it's the intonation!!!!

When you're talking to someone, you're not just talking! You're exchanging idea and mind. Now imagine you're doing presentation in front of your boss and all the biggest client in your company. The first thing to make best presentation is you have to believe and regard the idea as the best thing that happen for your company. If you didn't think like this, i can guarantee 100% the presentation will be like hell to you and your company, and the next big thing you found on your table is firing letter from your dearest boss. Now, it's the same as telling a joke!!!! When you're telling a joke with very flat intonation, you're exchanging something that according the feeling of someone you talk to, not funny even to yourself. So try to talk with the best intonation, using the right key on your voice will make sure they get your point. This is the first step on making yourself the funniest guy in the room.

2. Timing is The Doorlock

Remember the last time you try to fried some chicken when the cooking oil's not hot enough yet? Yep, it surely become the biggest mess in your house since your mother in law. Bad timing, means bad everything. Try to watch and observe more about the condition in your room. As time goes by, you will know what's the best time to make a joke and what's the time to just talk to someone. So the key here, observe more.

3. Try Not To Joke About Everything, First

One of the biggest mistake about try to joke is that you're trying too much, and everyone become increasingly annoyed by your 'joke', and yourself. Joke is fun, as long as you know what to joke. If you are really out of joke, then don't try to joke. Try telling your friends that you're really running out of funny things to said and want to talk about serious things now. It's actually the 4th tip on making yourself the funniest guy in the room.

4. Be Honest To Yourself, and Your Friends

So, after you know the three steps on becoming the funniest guy in the room, the 4th step actually involving you to be honest to yourself. If you feel your mood or your energy level aren't in the best shape today, don't try all the 3 steps above! Even with perfect timing, superb intonation and great selection of joke, if you feel not good that day, then the joke will not work. Trust me. So how to keep your funny guy image when you feel not good for joking?

5. Find Friends That Laugh On Almost Every Joke

This will help you through lots of problems about being funny guy. Having friends that always laugh in almost every joke you tell them, will raise your confidence and eventually makes your bad mood go away. And he can even help you improve your joke! Because really, the sixth tip can come from here, which is,

6. Confident Is The Door Itself

When you feel confident, you will always be comfortable to say anything to anyone. So keep your confident level high. How, you may say. Well, you can follow the 5th tip. Or, you can fix anything that broke your confidence. And that's in different tips post. 

That's it. If you follow the 6th tips above, you can be the funniest guy in the room and will always be the one people looking for when they're in sober. Trust Me!